10 Reasons You Need A Wine Bra (Wine Rack)
Anyone with boobs knows that there’s nothing better than getting home from a long day or night and taking off your bra. There’s about an 80% chance that within 5 minutes of walking through the door, our bras (and pants!) are off and we’ve got a glass of wine in hand. There’s one bra we just might make an exception for, though. Enter, “The Wine Rack,” a bra ingeniously created to keep your favorite wine as close to your heart as physically possible. Ladies, it’s time to swap out your boring, uncomfortable underwire bras for something way, way more fun. Here are ten reasons you need a wine bra stat!
1. The Wine Bra Holds Wine, Duh!
This one is obvious, but it’s so awesome it bears repeating. The wine rack is specifically designed to hold wine in bra form like a hidden flask – we dare you to think of something more life changing! This wine bra drink dispenser boasts a polyurethane bladder that holds up to 25 ounces of liquid heaven… err…. we mean wine. For those of you who prefer your measurements in bottle form, that’s just about an entire bottle of wine! Perfect serving size for one if you ask us…
We all know the boob sweat can be too real, but thankfully the wine rack bladder is custom shaped to fit the machine washable bra, and it’s removable. The bra itself comes in two sizes: a small size that fits 32A to 32D is a medium size that fits between a 34A and 34D bust. The only downside to this contraption is that it doesn’t fit all shapes and sizes. But there is always room for improvement! To our large-chested, wine loving sisters with extra creativity and determination, you could probably MacGyver the wine bladder and tube to attach to one of your regular sports bra or bralette.
Our Best Wine Bra Recommendation:
2. Bigger Bust without the Fuss.
Most of us have owned a push-up bra at one point in our lives, a little extra cleavage never hurt anybody. One reason to scoop up one of these magnificent creations is for added liquid bust! Of course, you must remember that if you’re planning to drink the liquid, your ample extra cleavage may dissipate. Although, even empty, A-cuppers should notice extra bubble in the bra zone! Say goodbye to stuffing your bra with socks, folks. Liquid disperses much easier, giving you a smooth chest finish, that just so happens to taste delicious too! Personally, we can’t think of anything we’d rather giving us a little extra support than our favorite bottle of vino!
P.S. Since it is a sports bra, there is no wire in sight…. Hallelujah!
3. You Can be the Life Of The Party with your Booze bra.
The girl (or guy, we don’t judge!) who shows up to any party wearing a wine bra is going to be the center of attention —guaranteed. When you pull out the nozzle and slurp away on your favorite rosé, people are going to be jelly as hell(y). Flaunt your new party gadget while you enjoy being the star of the show. Just don’t keep your best secret to yourself —and tell them all where you found it. Helping a friend lock a wine rack down will give you some serious party cred! And don’t forget–sharing is caring!
4. The Concert Life with your Wine Bra.
We’re not saying you should sneak wine into concerts with the help of a wine bra… but we’re not saying you shouldn’t either. Booze prices at concerts are unreal, and water is usually more than free, which is too much! So if you feel the need to pack a little liquid into the event of the season, we will not tell a soul. Pinky swear!
To keep your hidden stash of liquid gold or rubies discreet, tuck the nozzle into the bra and everyone will be none the wiser. If security does happen to catch on to your tricks, just remove the bladder, and drink before you enter. No one is the boss of you!
The sports bra holding the wine rack doubles as the perfect festival fashion. It’s ideal for layering under your favorite crop top, or no top at all! A cute outfit that can also keep you buzzed (or hydrated) as you dance the night away? Yes please!
Tip: If you plan on jumping around in the pit at your next rock concert, avoid red wine. One hard chest bump with a spike clad rocker could have you bleeding pinot noir, and the paramedics rushing to your rescue!
5. No Sharesies!
Real talk: it’s sad that we live in a world where people (especially women) have to guard their drinks when they should be enjoying a fun night out… but we do. Drinking out of your own personal spout attached to your body doesn’t really allow other people to swipe your drink, unless you want to share it. This makes the wine bra perfect for avoiding both nasty germs and much scarier substances too. That being said, keep an eye on the nozzle. You definitely don’t want some weirdo at a house party sneaking slurps of your yummy beverage. Yuck.
6. Free Hands.
Most obvious perk to sporting a wine filled bra is not holding your drink. If you’ve never gotten too excited during a conversation and sloshed some red wine onto yourself, your friend, or the floor, you’re either lucky or a liar. With a wine bra you can chat using the full force of your wildly expressive waving hands without worrying about wearing your drink. There is 90’s music on and the dance floor is packed —fear not— you won’t spill a drop busting a move, or all of your moves, all night long.
For non-party goers, being hands free has other perks. Taking your kids or fur babies to the park? Day drink away! Hiking with a picnic? No need to carry the wine! Gardening? Leave those wine glasses in the cupboard! Anything you like to accomplish while indulging in wine can be done while wearing the wine rack.
7. Extra Beach Fun.
Speaking of being hands free… Throw on some bikini bottoms and head to the beach. With your wine bra filled, you’re sure to have a blast. Can you think of anything nicer than floating in the waves while sipping on some moscato hands free? Because we can’t. For the sportier winos–beach volleyball, anyone?
You could even lay back and read a book in the shade. Your drink won’t get tipped over by that hunk chasing a football. Nor will sand from his fall cloud your beautiful wine. And you definitely won’t get to the bottom of your bottle only to find a dead fly–we wouldn’t know anything about it, but apparently that happens sometimes… to some people… A lot of common beach problems are solved with wine rack. Do you need more reason to own one?
8. Skip The Wine.
I know we’ve briefly mentioned water, but the wine bra is useful for a few drinks. Feeling like a cocktail instead? You could fill it up with your favorite mix of hard alcohol and mixers. Got a friend who’s more of a craft beer connoisseur? That works too!
Or you could fill it with water and use the wine bra to rock your hydration goals. There is a plethora of options, but we do not suggest frozen margarita mixtures unless you like your nipples hard enough to slice through ice! Another smart tip: stay away from garnishes. Mojitos with mint might just clog up the spout and then you’re out of luck and your day is in ruins!
9. Dinner and a Movie, Anyone?
Just like our comment about concerts and festivals, we’re not saying you should sneak wine into movie theatres, but if you do, your secret is safe with us. Sure, there are adult movie theaters that serve wine, but it usually comes at a hefty price. Plus, how often do you find yourself at a non-liquor serving theater sipping soda and thinking “a glass of wine would be so much better right now”?
Wiggle into the wine bra, and solve that annoying dilemma. The next time you take your kids to the next big movie, or wind up watching Rom-Coms with your girlfriends, you will be prepared to have the best time and that’s all we can hope for! After all, what pairs better with some movie theatre popcorn than a buttery chardonnay?
10. Gift the Wine Bra.
The wine rack is a great gift that truly keeps on giving. The next time that special person in your life who loves to drink wine and have a great time celebrates a birthday, you know what to get them! It’s also the perfect gift for a bride-to-be at her bachelorette party. Whatever the occasion, or just because, the Wine Rack makes a great light hearted gift perfect for making your loved ones smile. Just make sure to order a few, because no one will want to share this!
These are just ten of the many reasons you, and everyone you know, deserve a wine bra. Stock up and get ready for a summer full of boozy good times!
(Note: If you want to have some fun with your own wine bra, click this link and get yours today! What are you waiting for?)